What I learned from Em......

 

When she made a friend, it was for life. She was brutally honest but loved you. No matter how hard she got kicked down, she managed to get up and keep on going. Many of you probably don't truly know who much she struggled in her last few years. She was married in 2014. She married believing she was getting her prince charming. A man that was going to be like her father and granddaddy. All of which he miserably failed at. Not only did he fail, but he also verbally abused her. I won't go in too much detailed, because in the end she forgave him. In 2016, she and I went on a missing trip to the DR., where we shared a room. Our trip down there and the first night was horrible. She was mean and hateful. When we got to the bus for our trip to our hotel, we both received a surprise!! Our dearest friends (family actually), Michel and Alberto were there and would be working with us. We all were crying when we got on the bus. The next day we visited the school and church where we would be working. She spent most of the day, playing with the children. Her eyes brightened and her beautiful smile returned. The DR is a second home for us and changes our heart in seconds. That evening during devotion Em rededicated her life to God. It was the best week ever.

Upon returning to Virginia, she fell back into an addiction I was not aware of. She had checked in to the hospital with suicidal ideations. Don and I made the long trip to Virginia back to St. Simons where she checked in to rehab. That was the last place I ever thought I would have to take my child. She stayed 5 days which I thought was too short. But with her being an adult, she could make her own choices. The rest of 2016 was very tumultuous for all of us. She started seeing David Curry and was diagnosed with severe PTSD. Not know anything about how to deal with PTSD, Don and I also, had to go through counseling. We made it through 2016, but her recovery was just beginning. She wanted to make it without any medication. She started smoking pot for her anxiety. Think what you like, but I am a huge proponent for legalization of marijuana. Of course, as parents, we gave her the talk about it being illegal. She understood that. However, in 2017, she was coming home late one night from her job in Milledgeville and was stopped and arrested for possession. She spent 15hr in the jail in Wilkerson County. She was sentenced to one year probation and had a fine to pay. I guess you could say that was a wake up called. She spent the next year completing her sentence and thankful the charges were removed from her record.

In 2019 Em moved to Gainesville with me. That was the best move she made. She found a job that she loved and had an amazing boss that mentored her. She planned to hopefully own her own shop. And I had no doubts she could have done that.

Then 2020 came. And that spring she reconnected with Sebastian whom she had been in school with. She had made plans that spring to visit her best friend Bri in Texas. But with the lockdowns beginning, she decided to invite Sebastian down and take a trip to Disney. From that time in March until her accident, she and Sebastian were pretty much inseparable. She had that twinkle in her eye and it truly was the happiest I had seen her.

Even though, she struggled with many mistakes, she never stopped helping her friends and anyone that needed help.

The following are excerpts from messages that her friends sent me. The one that stands out the most to me and describes her very much is the one from Jared Drew "Don’t ever top being my Emily Murk, and I’ll never stop being me forever you." To me this epitomizes the person she truly was. She didn't judge anyone by color, sexual orientation or any other status. If she loved you, it was with her whole heart and it was forever.

1. She was just so bright. I miss her brightness. Tina Watson
2. I miss you every day and wonder what your loving- free spirited self would be up to today. Caitlin Lowery
3.  true friends are so hard to come by and I'm so thankful that your mine! Lindsay Fordham
4. Many of you have had the chance to meet someone who lights up the room when they walk in. They have that twinkle in their eyes, skip in their step and laughter and giggle in their voice. That was OUR dear Em. She was pure joy wrapped inside a beautiful green eyed blonde. She was always smiling, giggling, laughing and making jokes! She loved the flashiest jewelry, clothes and shoes. She loved friends but more importantly she loved her family, especially her father, Don, mother, Gale and brother, Vaughan. Donna Bearden
5. When Em was little, she was trying to tell someone they did "a very good job".  Somewhere the word good got lost and she said, "you did a very job".  From that day on, we've always said "you did a very job". I am sure all families have something that a child has said that was wrong but continued to say it because it was cute. Mom
6. Your daughter was a gift to the world! Bianca
7. She was everything to us. She was our smile on a sad day. She was our light on a dark moment. She fed you if you needed to be fed. She clothed you if you needed it.

She was a friend. One in a million Taylor

8. This bright and sweet girl that would do anything for anyone,

The one person that made my son smiled for every time he heard her voice, Bri

9. “Emily. This post should be about you. You are life. When I see you, I light up. It’s like the whole world disappears. Don’t ever top being my Emily Murk, and I’ll never stop being me forever you. You are one of my soulmates if there has ever been one. If you ever left my life, I would be devastated and wouldn’t let that happen. You are a part of my story and I’m apart of yours :)” Jared Drew

Excerpts from Em's Facebook post:

When I tell you I’m blessed, I. AM. BLESSED. I cannot tell you how thankful I am to be where I am today. I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have such loving parents. 

To the people struggling to get clean or to stay clean, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. You CAN get clean. I promise you. Fight for your sobriety. 

Here’s to another year clean. Another year with positive vibes. Another year of growth. Another year of being alive. I am counting my blessings. I’m so thankful for my past, present and future.#blessed#recovery#3years#positivevibes#

What I’m learning lately is you don’t have to fall in love with a person. Yes, it’s nice to have someone to spend your days and life with, but there are other things you can fall in love with. Yourself, your dreams, your career, travel, music. The list goes on and on. Fall in love with nature, beauty, animals, relationships with your friends. I’m not on the same life schedule as anyone. My life didn’t go as I had planned, but I didn’t end my life so it’s still going. I get to keep going. I can still fall in love. I can still find new beginnings. Don’t give up. 💕

I miss her more than words can say. She was an amazing young women and I proud of having been part of that wonderful life. As in her own words "Em, you did a very job" Love you, Mom