Grief….

Today is National Parents Bereavement Day.  If you don’t know what that means, then consider yourself lucky!!

           For those of us who know what it means, please have patience with us.  Your thoughts are mostly clear, but for those of us who have been unfortunately and un-wantingly included in the “parents who have lost children club”, have clouded thoughts.  Minute by minute, we don’t know what the next thought in our minds will be.  Will it be the day they were born?  The day they graduated high school, (if they lived that long) or will it be their last day.  We have no control over the grief.  When it comes, or when it goes.  It could be 5 years, 10 years, or never.

          I have met some wonderful Mothers along the way.                  If I can be thankful for those small gifts, that is                  one that I am thankful for.  I hope that in some small way, I have helped them through their journey that is never ending.  Our friendship and support will be never ending. And I know that they have helped me through my journey and continue to be a support.

          For the past 5 years, I’ve searched for answers, for ways to deal with the grief and how to heal.  I don’t think you never completely heal.  When a physical part is taken away from you, (and for mothers, it is truly a physical part) you can never completely heal.  I’ve read books, listened to podcast, and researched everything I could, to find answers.  I have come to the realization that the        only way to “heal” some, is to keep their memory alive.  Make sure their legacy is remembered.

           Em was such a bright and beautiful light.  She helped others as much as she could.  She lived her                life to the fullest and greatest that she could.  Why shouldn’t we all?  For me to honor her,  I need to be like her.  I need to live my life just as she would.  I have my days when I am not at my best.  But I have to remember, Em had many days when she wasn’t at her best, but that didn’t stop her from helping someone else.

           I recently came in contact with another mother who lost her son in a similar matter as how Em                    passed.  It has only been a year for her.   I hugged her and said, “Oh my dear, you’re still in a fog”. For me, it has taken 5 years for that to lift.  That is my journey, but it doesn’t mean her’s will be the same.  No matter what the “books” say about grief, IT’S ALL WRONG!!

           I am thankful because I have looked for my purpose since Em passed.  And now I know, it’s being        there for others who have begun their journey they didn’t ask to be on.

           At this point in my journey, I can say I am SO THANKFUL FOR THE MEAR 26 YEARS I HAD            WITH EM!! I am supposed to leave a legacy for her, and not by choice, she has left a legacy for me and many others.  She is the strongest woman I will ever know, and now I know she learned that from me!!

           @lifeofem101