Merry Christmas from Em....

 

Holidays have been hard since losing Ms. Grace and Daddy.  Families must work extra hard to maintain those holiday traditions.  Many of them fade.  Many just get changed over events that happen between family members.  Losing Em has changed everything about our world.  It's so easy to just not to give up.  The past two years my weekends have pretty much been that.  I move from the bed to the couch.  Saturdays are the same lunches, with long naps.  To be honest, I take something to sleep as much as I can on the weekend.  There is no pain to feel when I sleep.

I've come to the time now that I know I can't continue to do that.  It's not good for my mental health or physical health.

Em's Facebook page is still active.  I refuse to deactivate it.  I love to see the post that friends continue to post to remember her. I've learned a lot about her by reading her past post.  For those that truly knew her, knew she said what she felt even if it was harsh or brutally honest.  The more I read, the more I've learned her advice was good and even though she hit bottom more than one time, it never kept her down.  She had a beautiful smile, a huge heart and a love for her friends like no other.  It was unconditional and undying. 

The following is a post from 2016 which probably one of the most difficult years for her.  I hope someone out there needs to hear this and gives them the strength to keep going.

On this day last year, I was in a completely different place. I was a different person. I was in a different mindset. I was in a deep and dark depression. I looked happy. I looked so happy, and, in those moments, I was. Last Christmas I didn't spend with family. Christmas used to be one of my favorite holidays. Celebrating the birth of Jesus and being with my actual family. Actually, feeling whole again. But what is family? This year, I learned that family isn't blood. Family doesn't treat family like shit. Family stands up for each other. Family loves with no bounds and no judgement. Family CARES about family well-beings. Family doesn't turn their back on each other. (Please feel free to read that sentence again.)

 

I've done quite a bit of growing up in the last few years. I might not have a degree to show for it, but I damn sure do have the scars. Or "I might not have graduated with a degree, but I damn sure got an education." 2016 was filled with lying, drugs, anger, depression, anxiety, rehab, therapy sessions, late night drives, and finding myself and friends/family. 2016 changed my life in ways that I never thought I'd ever be so grateful to happen. I'll be celebrating 2016 being over in just one week. And whether I'm celebrating by myself or with my family AND MY BABY KITTIES, I'll be just as content.

 

2017 is the year that I hope to make a difference in my hometown. From drugs and overdoses to Mental Health Awareness. These three things are so important and not enough people in this world have any true care or knowledge about it. The drugs are a problem, and we need to fix it. Mental health is a problem, and we need to fix it. Depression is an illness, and it kills. Addiction is an illness, and it kills. So, stop being quiet about it and let's start talking about it. This can happen to absolutely anyone. But please listen to me when I say this, YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS. You will beat this depression and anxiety. You will beat your addiction. You will beat the demons inside you telling you untrue statements. You will get through this. You are worthy of living. 

 

Merry Christmas y'all. May the end of 2016 bring you peace, and May 2017 bring you positivity and life and lots of love from animals. 🐱☮️💖