The Second year is the hardest...

 I've read somewhere that when you lose a child that the second year is the worst.  At that time I couldn't imagine it being worse. No Way!  But as the second year has progressed, I can agree.  The second year is the hardest.  I guess it's because you start to wake up from the fog and the nightmare and realize what your life  is going to
look like the rest of your life.  That's when you start to question.  Everyone said God has a plan.  BUT THIS CAN'T BE HIS PLAN FOR MY LIFE!!! To live the rest of it without one of the most precious gifts God has given me?  To feel alone?  THIS CAN'T BE ALL THERE IS LEFT FOR ME.

For the past 11 years God you've told me you have a plan, a plan for good and not harm.  The why does my heart hurt so bad?  Why is Em not here with me?  Where is my support?  Will I ever feel happy again?  Will I ever have a day that I don't cry just wishing for ONE MORE DAY?

Where do I go from here?  Where do I go?

She promised the 500 months and we didn't get 500 days.