Endless time....

 Night after night I go through Em's photos. Funny that's all I have left. A smile in a picture, a laugh in a video.  I will never be able to brush the hair out of her face, hear her tell me she loves me. I have nothing left but a piece of her hair. Her smell is gone, her laugh is gone. I go through her medical record and see so much of how things could have ended differently. If I had only acted like I usually do. Why did I not push harder? Why? What if? I can ask myself that a thousand times and I come up with the same answer, it's too late now.

No matter how many regrets I have, no matter what ifs I come up with, I can never change the outcome.

I'm left with memories and memories only. Most days it's not enough to survive.