You can't give back time.....

https://www.facebook.com/share/4tvp2L3HuDa2X6iB/?mibextid=WC7FNe

 You can't give back time that is gone.  You can't go back and spend time with someone that is no longer here. Once time passes it is gone FOREVER.

Did you wait for that mother who's lost a child for them to call and say "I need someone can you come?

Then you've waited too long.

I've never but anything but blunt with my blogs and this one is no different.  If you are thinking about what you are taken, or getting, then you need to re-examine yourself and see what you are giving.  And I am not talking physically.

I have attached a link to a FB video at the top.  Please take the time to watch.  

This was on my memory several years back.  Then it has a good feeling that there are still good people in the world.  Today, it has a completely different meaning.  For me this video represents me, but I am the animal needing to be save.  I have screamed, begged pleaded for someone to just acknowledge my pain and no one has yet to do that.  The response has always been "you're stronger than you think".  No, that's what everyone wants to believe. If they believe you're not, they are scared they could be come me.  And guess what, anyone can become me.  But I can promise you, I don't anyone to ever become me.  But I didn't get to make that decision and you don't either.

Do you think it was easy going through Em's medical record everyday, after day?  To truly know how she was treated?  That she was found with vomit on her gown because she couldn't wipe it off and yet I was denied being able too.  As a Mom, I was suppose to be there to do that. 

Do you know her autopsy report had her hair color listed as brown with highlights because I couldn't was the blood out and no one else did until she went to the funeral home to be embalmed.

Do you know how hard it was to sit on the couch at each court date for the woman who ran Em down.  Oh by the way, she was charged with a misdemeanor, with 60 days house arrest and one year probation for running over Em in a crosswalk.  Don't believe what the law says.  It's not true.

These past few weeks I have been in a very dark place with dark thoughts.  I stand on that ledge everyday waiting.  I've been waiting for 4 years.

Yes, I'm the strongest person (along with other mothers who have lost children) you will ever meet, 

Because I've had to do it alone and sadly I know that will never change.  I hope I can save myself.