What is the right way to grieve?

 So many times people judge others on their grief.  When a loved one doesn't cry, they remove all visible remembrance of their loved ones, they laugh, they just don't act right.  So please tell me where the 10 commandments are on grief?  What is step one?? If you haven't lost a child who are you to judge?  Who are you to say what is grief?  Or what is right or wrong?  Who are you to say "I can't believe they have removed all of their child's clothes, pictures?  Why have they not cleaned out her room?  What are they waiting on?

One thing I have learned from losing Em, is there is NO RIGHT WAY OR WRONG WAY, IT JUST IS....

I think for me I was in such disbelief.  I remember leaving the hospital in a daze.  But when we returned to the house, I was physically sick.  Vomiting or dry heaving because I don't recall when I ate.  That's what grief is.  Knowing that someone you carried for 9 months and gave birth to is no longer with you.  How do you live without her?? Then you start to build up a wall to protect you from the hurt.  The hurt you bury so deep so you don't have to feel that way.  A way that you can't explain.  It's like something has been ripped from your insides, a hurt that burns like fire that nothing can extinguish.

Yes, there are processes that grieving takes.  But what you learn is that it doesn't always coming in the stages stated.  Anger for me can within moments after realizing Em was gone.  Depression came the same time and hasn't left yet. The other steps I haven't even experienced yet.  And I pray everyday that I don't.  You never want to accept the life you have left to live is a life without your child.  One that brought life to you as much she brought to others.

So the next time you think someone is not grieving like you think they should, be thankful you've never had to experience that!