She Was Powerful

The past two weeks have been extremely hard for me.  This coming week will bring more with the Georgia House voting on the most important legislation that will be passed this year, Right to Visit HB290.  A wonderful woman Suzanne Guy was gracious enough to read Em's story at the committee hearing.  On Tuesday of that week, I did an interview for a podcast and then Sunday an interview for WSBTV in Atlanta.  I tell her story in hopes that no other parent will have to go through what we went through.

The hardest part for me this week, is knowing that Vaughan watched my interview I gave for the TV.  I was hoping he wouldn't watch.  I did not want him to know what Em went through or what Don, Sebastian and I had to endure.  It is very hard describe what I considered such an intimate detail.  Going through making the decision to stop life saving measures is something no parent should have to make.  It's something that is very, very hard to share.  I have protected my family from knowing much of those details up until now.  However, if telling those intimate hard details will save other parents from going through this, I would do it again.

Treasure tells me all the time how strong I am, and maybe that's true.  I don't feel strong.  The strongest woman I will ever know is my daughter Em.  She endured so much in her short 26 years and up until the day she died.  She came home after an abusive marriage, discouraged that she couldn't make it work.  She came home with severe PTSD.  Something I thought that only soldiers got, because that's when you heard about it.  No one ever said that women who are abused suffer from PTSD.  Even though, Em had PTSD, she was determined to recover without medication.  Much of this I did not know until she moved in with me in Gainesville.  It took her about 3 years to almost get back to the person she was before.  She worked hard to overcome a lot of things. Not only a failed marriage, she had to overcome an addiction.  One she did pretty much on her own.  A lot of what she went through many people were not aware of.  But in going through her own recovery, she never stopped helping her friends.  Many she would help while she was struggling.  That is one of the most selfless acts someone can do.  Is to help others even though you are struggling.  Again, that takes a tremendous amount of strength.  And during that last week, when she was alone and in pain, she was stoic.  Even though she was in a lot of pain, she still was patient.  Yes, she would text me and tell me she was struggling, but she never let anyone else know.

It's sad that I never truly appreciated her strength until after she was gone.  I now know what an amazing woman Don and I raised.  I will always be amazed at her strength and will use that to do what is necessary to push patients rights for advocacy.