"You were created to make someone's life better. Someone needs what you have--your smile, your love, your words & your encouragement". This was the last post Em posted on Facebook to her beloved boyfriend Sebastian. I can never express how deeply humbled we are at the outpouring of love and support everyone has graciously given to us. Em was so precious to us and now in her passing, we've learned just how precious she was to so many!! I can't count the messages, texts and words of all of those who loved Em and said she was always there during there dark times. As a mother, you work hard to leave a legacy behind for your children. You never plan or expect that your child will leave with the legacy first. Several years ago Em and I got matching tattoos of ";" for those suffering from depression so bad that they took their lives. I added a dash before mine
. The dash which now reads for her April 28, 1994 - May 6, 2020. That dash represents the life lived. In print it is such a small symbol of someone's life. There may be many years or short years but it remains a symbol of the years lived. Even though the number of years for Em was small it was powerful!! More powerful than I ever realized. It warms my heart to know that in the days she was struggling, she was always there for her friends. Not only did she touch people she knew, she touched many that never knew her, by her strength to overcome the impossible. To overcome your darkest day!!!
To be truthfully, I really don't understand how I am functioning at this point. I thought losing my Dad was hard, but I can honestly say, I don't believe I will ever go through any thing as hard as this.
I was allowed to see Em for a little over an hour. During that time, we talked some. She was in pain and was in and out, so I let her get her rest. Just being next to her while she was sleeping was peaceful. Her hair was matted in blood and I tried my best to wipe it out with a cloth and peroxide. I could not get it out and sadly had to leave before I was done.
I'm reminded of the ending of Forest Gump when he is by Jenny's grave, "Momma always said dying was a part of life, I wished it wasn't,.....I don't know if we each have a destiny, or we are just floating around accidental like a breeze, but I think maybe it's both, maybe both happening at the same time.."
“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it."
"When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.”
“There are no random acts...We are all connected...You can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind...”
“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.”
“Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else.”
Mitch Albom
My heart is forever broken. But with my faith and mine and Em's believe in Christ, we will see each other again!!
For those of us, (myself included) we need to examine ourselves. Is there a loved one we need to forgive, a friend, someone that has wronged our family (children, mother, father, sister)? Please call them. Tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you!!
I've learned that in Em's passing. She forgave any and all. I had to realize many of this with her passing. She truly was forgiving!!! I have struggled with that for many years, and I'm still struggling to this day.
If there is anything we all can learn from her tragedy, we can learn to be a better person!!!
Everyone that has called, texted, messaged, or sent food or flowers, she touched your life. As Robin Williams said in the movie "What dreams may come", "I still exist". Em is now with her eternal father and she still exist, in our hearts, our minds and in our memories. She is a light that will forever shine!!!!
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